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cheryl_bites [userpic]

Chivu’s Kick In The Grass interview: transcript

17th August 2013 (19:58)

(Chivu is talking over the phone on a very bad line, so I sometimes can’t work out what he’s saying. The interviewer calls him “Cheevu” and asks questions that go on forever. I will summarise. Frankly, he doesn’t seem to have said a single one of the things Inter.it reported; I assume they were going from an Italian translation.)

We never show up, really.Collapse )

cheryl_bites [userpic]

“Aaaaahhhhh!!!!!”, Artur Boruc/Dan Wykowski, R

9th August 2013 (17:47)

TITLE: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
RATING: RRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
PAIRING: ARTUR BORUC/DAN WYKOWSKI (HIS “IDIOT NEIGHBOUR” IN THE FRIDAY RAGE LIST)
WARNING: CAPS LOCK!!! ALSO VIOLENT IMAGERY AND TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS!!!
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT TRUE!

READ MORE!!!Collapse )

cheryl_bites [userpic]

Fic

24th July 2013 (20:14)

I have finally finished my story in which Javier Zanetti ploughs his way through the entire Inter squad! \o/ It's only about a year late. It is here at Calcioriffic:

800 Love Stories

cheryl_bites [userpic]

Manicography

2nd July 2013 (13:47)
Tags:

Ruby asked me to compile a short list of Manic Street Preachers songs with which to introduce a new listener to their oeuvre. It was a bit difficult knowing where to begin, but assuming the songs should be spread fairly equally across their career, I may have whittled the list down to a reasonable amount.

If the person is only prepared to listen to two songs:

1. Motorcycle Emptiness
2. Faster

And if they want blood... I mean, more than that...Collapse )

cheryl_bites [userpic]

Palacio (a drabble, PG-13)

28th June 2013 (16:34)

Title: Palacio
Author: cheryl_bites
Characters: Javier Zanetti, Fredy Guarin
Disclaimer: This is not true.
Rating: PG-13 for unpleasant imagery

Read more...Collapse )

cheryl_bites [userpic]

Cinderojo (PG)

17th June 2013 (16:19)

Rating: PG for slightly naughty words.
Pairing: Ivan Ramiro Cordoba/Marcos Rojo
Words: 1,300
Disclaimer: This is not true.

In honour of the slippers.

Once upon a time…Collapse )

cheryl_bites [userpic]

NAPOLI ARE NAKED

10th May 2013 (13:42)



Napoli may not have been able to overtake Juve, or win the Coppa again, but by winning the Bologna match we qualified for the Champions League! \o/ Accordingly, there was an incredible amount of stripping, which I am spamming for my and your delectation.

Conny and Dirtbunny, there are naked Swiss inside.Collapse )

cheryl_bites [userpic]

CONNY CONNY!

28th January 2013 (14:50)

cheryl_bites [userpic]

DERBY TIME.

7th October 2012 (19:42)

CONNY, WHERE ARE YOU?

1. Bonera has badly fouled Cassano. We have two drinks for that.
2. And Allegri had a shouting match with the ref; is that normal?
3. WU SCORES IN THE FOURTH MINUTE! That's a drink.
4. Yuto fouls Yepes. The odds of this happening to two players beginning with Y are so small we obviously must drink.
5. Cuchu fouls Monty and Mexes elbows Milito in the neck. Two biscuits?
6. Mexes has fouled Milito again. The two of them are clearly the new Deki and DDR. I shall add them to the list of drinking game rules.
7. Milan's goal taken back because they fouled Handanovic and made him do a spectacular somersault. Finish drink.
8. Ruby admits to fancying Stram. Finish drink.

1-0 going into the second half.

9. Yuto sent off for a handball: finish drink.

Hmmm, I think the difference in numbers has changed the game a wee bit; most of the controversial things are happening in the Napoli-Udinese match now.

10. Frog pulls on Pazzo's shirt and obstructs his goal. He gets away with it and Pazzo gets gialloed. Drink?
11. Yepes runs into Fredy to get his attention. Drink.
12. Inter win: that's a drink to me.
13. Stram and Cheetos mate on the pitch: definitely drink.
14. Stram runs round yelling and doing windmills with his arms: drink.
15. Abate picks a fight with IRC: finish drink.

PS Conny, you may be interested to know that Krkic was crying.

cheryl_bites [userpic]

Things I Will Never Do If I Become Famous, Part 1

21st March 2012 (12:21)
Tags: , ,

Tuned into Radio 4 this morning and heard someone interviewing Juliane Diller/Koepcke, who has an incredibly hypnotic voice.

JD/K: When the plane exploded I fell two miles straight down, but the strong updraughts from the rainforest helped to save me. I feel a special connection to that environment...
Radio: *HARRUMPH*
Cheryl: *Jumps out of skin*
J D/K: At first I didn’t realise I was the only one alive. I assumed there must be more survivors. It took me a long time to realise my mother must be dead...
Radio: *HARRUMPH* *HARRUMPH*
Cheryl: Oh, there are two men with sinus problems in the studio. How odd.
J D/K: I had years of counselling, but until I went back to the crash site 27 years later I had never truly come to terms with everything that happened...
Radio: *HARRUMPH* *HARRUMPH* *HARRUMPH*

Turned out there were two other authors there with books to promote, and they felt Juliane’s section was taking too long. They’d decided to let the presenter know.

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